July 28, 2010

He’s there!

I woke up feeling completely fine.  No upset stomach,not butterflies, no nerves.  Then it just got crazy busy with trying to get the last load of laundry done and him all packed… I had forgotten to pick up his suit from the cleaners.  I had wanted to go on one more walk and just talk and see how he was feeling about it all, but no such luck, truly no time.  Aunt Polly had written and told me to write him little love notes and put them throughout his suit case with treats.  I was so grateful she suggested that!  It got down to the wire and finally we took off.  He looked so handsome and was very quiet.  I did ask how he felt, he said “good.”  He didn’t seem nervous at all.  However Mitch pointed out he was awfully quiet which isn’t normal.  We went to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen, and Jordan met us there.  We wolfed it down so obviously nothing was wrong with our stomachs.  We had a great visit then left.  We hoped to get to the MTC with time to walk over and take pictures.  We were there about 5 minutes late.  They do give you a time slot so we weren’t over the time, we were still 10 minutes before the next group but felt very rushed to get over there and take pictures.  As we drove up we saw huge groups of missionaries out playing soccer, volley ball, and other things.  We parked and as we started to walk over, one of Mitchell’s best friends (Andrew Angerbauer) was just walking over with his family!  That was a huge tender mercy.  We knew his time was an hour before ours.  They had some real conflicts so were late.  I know the Lord really blessed them both because it seemed to really help their nerves to have each other.  We took great pictures of them and us and Mitchell walking in.  I loved seeing the 10-15 Elder’s standing outside waiting to escort the new missionaries inside.  Truly the whole thing was so darn cool.  I thought Mitchell seemed completely fine and our dumb camera which takes so long to take a picture kind of made the pictures more posed and impossible to get emotional.  We left and immediately Taylor and I reached for our phones to text Mitchell and find out all about his new comp., his district, the Mtc.  We both started laughing realizing we don’t get to do that anymore.  I am sure it will hit at some point… just not yet.  It was such a great day, so much better than I thought and I keep wondering what is wrong with me that I am not crying.  Taylor put it very well when he said “I guess it is because this is what you have prepared us for our whole life.  It’s exciting to be here.”  It is!  I am thrilled but I can’t wait for his first letter!!  Erin

July 27, 2010 – One More day

I awoke with a migraine and tried to fall back asleep.  At 6:10 I got up to a very unsettled stomach and went on a much needed run with Becky Murri (my dear dear friend and running partner).  Sunday I woke up to much the same feeling.  I proceeded to read my scriptures as my hands shook and I felt so sick to my stomach (nervous feeling).  I started to bawl so hard I went into my room and prayed it would stop.  It did and I was able to calm down.  Mitchell came up at 11:00 and proceeded to re-write the outline for his talk.  His hands were shaking so badly I knew he was feeling the same thing.  I asked if he needed a blessing and as he nodded yes he started to cry.  I knew he felt that “it’s here” feeling.  As he got his blessing I gave him his little Bert we had bought him to take on his mission.  I knew the humor of it would help and it was the perfect timing.  He tucked him in his suit coat pocket.  As he sat on the stand and the church began to fill (and I mean fill—there were more people than attend stake conference. I can honestly say I have NEVER seen so many kids at a farewell in my life) he started to cry.  His emotions were completely written on his face and he was so touched and overwhelmed by the love and support he felt.  He said that morning as he left he got a text from 4 of his friends who were out of town and had driven back to be at his farewell.  He lost it before we ever left our home.  I had prayed the night before that people would come.  Mitchell was so worried with it being a holiday weekend that there wouldn’t be many people there.  How funny that was.  Mitchell has never — never in his life felt that or had that.  Even when we did his surprise party and only 5 kids showed up.  I think he has just never felt that loved or accepted—at least here in Utah.  I know he will never have such a happy birthday again!  It was such a gift from heaven and so touching as our stake center was filled to capacity.  It was amazing and a breathtaking sight.

Mitchell’s talk was awesome.     I loved that it was on Obedience.  He used Disneyland and 6 flags as an example of the pursuit of happiness and the bigger thrill.  He compared that to lasting happiness coming from peace and knowing that comes from doing what the Lord commands and knowing He is pleased with you.  HE talked about his wreck the first week of school when he was a sophomore and the consequences of not obeying and forgiveness.  He talked about texting in class and being mortified and never doing it again.  HE talked about his baseball team in Seattle and not swearing or playing on Sunday and not consciously setting out to be an example however finding out he was one, and the influence he had just obeying.  He talked about Lehonti and Amalikiah and being poisoned by degrees, and not coming down as Satan tries to do to each of us.  It was such a great talk and it ended with the quote “2 men can do anything as long as one of those men is god.” By Elder Anderson in his conference Address.  It was amazing.  He took the entire 25 minutes and did such a great job of sharing personnel experiences, scriptures and quotes from preach my gospel.  I loved that it was completely him.  I was so worried he would stand and try to be this great scriptorian and he didn’t.  He was him the entire talk and I loved it!  It was a big pay day for me and I was so touched as he talked about each of his family members.  He talked about how beautiful his sisters are and how he can’t wait to come home and scare away their boyfriends.  He talked about watching “Jonas LA” with Mckinley.  We loved that(and Mckinley just buried her head in her dad’s side!  He talked about Lincoln being his hero and wishing he was a tenth the person Lincoln is.  I guess Lincoln completely lost it at that.  What a gift to have a big brother idolize you.  Mitchell has always been so proud of who Lincoln is and made it known very clearly.  It reminds me of Joseph Smith and his older brothers Alvin and Hyrum.  How lucky is Lincoln?  He talked about how much he loves Taylor and that he is his best friend.  He said “it prob. Sounds horrible but I will miss him least of all, but that is prob. Because I don’t worry about him.  I know he is such a great kid.  I truly wish I was Taylor.”  He has said that many times over the years to me and I was so proud of him for saying it.  It meant so much to Taylor.  Mitchell has been such a great oldest.  We are so lucky to have him as a big brother and the head of our children.  We will so miss his influence and presence in our home.  He spoke about his dad being his hero and he just sobbed.  I loved that and Mitch cried.  He didn’t say more than “I love my mom, we argue most days but I love her.  She is so outgoing and friendly.”  It was perfect.  I was so touched by his honesty and his sincerity.  He nailed it and I loved it all.  IT was a huge pay day and I could not imagine a more perfect day.  It far exceeded any expectation and I felt it was such a huge gift.

So today I just feel a little sick to my stomach.  I feel ready to get on with this and anxious to get his first letter.  I feel like this is a lot like pregnancy, I am just ready to be done with the anticipation, the worry, and the nerves.  Let’s just do this thing!  Plus I am so ready to read and see the changes in him.  I am so ready to begin the countdown to him coming home.  I am ready.  What a great adventure and privilege.  How blessed I am to be a mother, to be Mitchell’s mother!  I am so incredibly grateful.

Erin

He leaves on July 28th!  Back to the east coast where he spent the first 4 years of his life!

drove home and started to sob. I didn’t plan it, didn’t even know I was struggling. I hadn’t even anticipated

this might be hard. I realized something… for 18 years, 24 hours a day; my life has consisted of just what I described above. I have never felt so needed and so fulfilled with a purpose that mattered so much. Now What?? So this is our now what:

Mitch (45) continues to work at primary children’s hospital. He truly loves his job. I don’t know that there is room to move up, but for us at this point, just liking who you work with and knowing your job is secure is pretty huge. We are grateful he truly benefits people’s health. At least he finds fulfillment in that. He is also our ward Clerk. We feel so honored and blessed as he goes to his weekly meetings and learns from such amazing men. It has been the biggest blessing in our life. Mitch is truly such a great man and continues to go to all the youth activities as well. I am very lucky to have him and the kids are even luckier to have his example.

Erin (40) is teaching. I tutor in math twice a week at the junior high and sub. most the rest of the week for the math teachers. Who knew I would LOVE it. I guess I chose this because math was the biggest subject my kids experienced frustration in. Also I know teenagers just want to be accepted and loved. I truly love it. I was getting overwhelmed teaching every day, so a couple weeks ago when I was called into the stake young women’s as the secretary, I told the school’s I will only work three days a week. That is a relief, and yet it is really hard for me to say no. I really do love the kids and the teachers. I love seeing Madi and Lincoln most days. The thing I look forward to most this year is Mitchell’s mission call!! We have been overwhelmed filling out scholarship applications. It will be so fun to see where he decides to go to college and where he gets called on his mission.

Mitchell (18) as stated above is a senior and in the throes of applying for college and anticipating a mission call. He is a student body officer at Bountiful High and very busy with various activities. He is also feeling this is

his last year to live it up, so consequently we see him but little, and there is a steady stream of girls around. If he had ever had a girl friend we might worry, but he switches frequently and that makes us happy. Plus he has really good taste. One thing that amazes us is our child who went through elementary school so frustrated academically, graduated with 18 college credits (a 4.0 average in those) and a 3.7. We are so proud of him. He is a very hard

worker. For the first time ever Mitchell ran Cross Country this year. The Coach called and asked and thanks to adding Mitchell to the team our High School took first in regions this year (a first in over 20 years). His best time was a 5.35 mile (for 3 miles) and he took 7th in regions.

Taylor (17) decided after the year from Hell in basketball, that he would no longer play at our high school. That was a gut wrenching decision but one we all learned from. I would so much rather have a happy child than a star basketball player (we were hoping to have both). He went to Utah States Basketball camp this summer and the coach even talked to him at the end of the camp and said they were interested in him and strongly recommended he go to a different high school. Taylor fasted and chooses to be with his brother. We know what ever the Lord

has in store for Taylor he is really learning to rely on the Savior. Spencer Nelson (the professional basketball player that played for Utah State) bought a condo and spent every day this summer working out with Mitchell and Taylor. That was a huge witness of the Lord being aware of them. Taylor played football for the first time ever this year and earned a back up position on Varsity. He scored 6 touchdowns and had 2 interceptions this year. He was their go to receiver and we are excited to see what next year brings. As long as he is happy we will be thrilled. He has a 3.8 and is currently taking 3 AP classes (yeah that wasn’t smart for the GPA).

Lincoln (14) is our constant. If the kid ever goes through some freak out stage it is going to totally dismantle us. For the first time ever he didn’t get a 4.0 and said “well I can’t do better than my best so that has to be good enough.” I was so thrilled with his response! We worry a little about unrealistic expectations he has for himself. He made the junior high basketball team and it truly brings tears to our eyes to see him run and get water for the varsity team. He isn’t the manager but he loves those boys and is such a great leader by his example. He is

becoming an amazing flutist and we love to hear him play! The girls think it is pretty cool too. Subbing at his school and for his teachers has been such a highlight. There is no one who doesn’t love Lincoln and Madi. Lincoln also got his eagle this year, he was so proud to get it before his 14th birthday.

Madi (12.9) is in 7th grade and an officer at Millcreek. She has floored us with her abilities this year. We were a little worried but boy has she taken off. She goes to school 45 minutes early every day to get in her practicing with Lincoln. She has a smile and a hug for everyone. She got the highest GPA of everyone of our kids, a 3.9. We were so proud of her. I think she has found her place and best of all she does it all as herself; A ponytail, boy’s basketball shorts, and the same shirt (hopefully never two days in a row). How long that lasts…. We shall see. She sure is a pretty girl (our best kept secret). Madi also won reflections regions for art.

Reagan (10.7) is in fifth grade and I think being the oldest at the elementary school has been good for her. She is deciding who she is and we have decided the whole adolescent phase starts in fifth grade for girls. She has cried more, whined more, and laughed more, primped more, smiled more than we have ever seen. It is a mystery to us and we wonder who she will decide to become. She is a mean gymnast and is determined to get her back hand spring. She is a knock out and we think she knows it because she spends a lot of time making herself “just

right” for school. It will be interesting to watch her the next couple years.

Mckinley (6.5) is in first grade! Her prayers go something like this “Please help me not to grow up. Please, Please,

Please help me not to get bigger. Help my family not to die. And me not to get married and have kids.” Yeah go figure that one. She bawls if I am working because it bugs her I am not home. She sobbed so hard she fell asleep when I was released as her primary teacher (which I have been for the last 2 years). Either we are the world’s most dysfunctional family for her, or she is going to have a killer self esteem. We will let you know as we see it unfold.

As you see life moves on, it is the same day in‐ day out. What changed this year was the realization, it is going to change this next year and never be the same. Even as I write it I cry. I am so grateful for this season to ponder on how much we have to be grateful for. I love my family, the Savior, and truly one of the highlights for us was the reunion at Lake Tahoe. What an amazing legacy has been left us all. We hope to honor that and carry on. We

love you all, The Perkins Clan

                Taylor is loving football!!  That is an understatement.  Football has been a god send for Taylor.  He has scored a touch-down in each game!!  They switched him to corner and are training him as back up in varsity.  At first he wasn’t too thrilled because getting hit by the varsity players really hurts.  He has gotten used to it and is learning so much.  He is always happy, always exhausted and seems to be having a great year.  His grades aren’t straight A’s like we would like, but I have to say I have learned an important lesson, passing doesn’t mean getting an A.  Go figure…. I didn’t know that.  Oh and he got asked to girls dance!  YEAH!!  ‘Bout time that boy learn some socializing skills!   

                Lincoln is in the midst of conditioning and basketball tryouts.  He is loving it but very nervous.  There are some really great basketball players at his school and he is hoping he stands out as one of those.  He works his tail off and is so dedicated.  We shall see what happens.  He said today he doesn’t think he will get a 4.0.  I said “Lincoln all I have ever cared is that you try your hardest.”  He said “I know mom, I just had to finally tell myself, I couldn’t try any harder, that has to be good enough.”  That is a huge lesson for him and I am glad he isn’t upset by it.

                Madison is LOVING Jr. High.  It would blow you away to watch her.  She is SO comfortable with who she is.  It is fun to see how happy she is and luckily she is really following Lincoln’s example and staying up on her studies.  I am so proud of her and could not be happier with how much she is loving school.  She is even really good when I sub in her classes!!

                Reagan is top dog now at the elementary school.  She is relishing that role and kind of finding out who she is and what her role is.  She is stepping up and acting a little older and breaking away from friendships that have caused her some hurt.  She seems to be finding out a lot about herself.  I am glad because I can’t wait to see who she becomes.

                Mckinley has turned into a social butterfly.  She doesn’t quit talking.  Her teacher said she is terrified to tell her to knock it off, because she is afraid she will become that quiet little girl who won’t let go of her mother.  She is so happy is Mrs. Woodland’s class and that only goes to back what I have said all along “Mrs. Woodland is the best teacher we have ever had.”  Truly Valley View is full of them!

                I have been subbing at least 2-3 times a week.  I am really enjoying it and really enjoying thinking we may make some head way on our finances and get some debt paid off.  I took the test to get into math 1050 and did so well l can take math 1090 whatever that is?!  I am really excited to take 1050 with Mitchell next semester.  The test truly was a miracle experience.  I left upset that they didn’t give me a percentage test score.  About half way home, as I obsessed over what I didn’t know, I realized the Lord had actually clearly opened my mind and helped me reason and figure out how to solve a few of them problems.  He also helped – one question was an exact question I had studied with Amy.  It was truly a miracle I did so well and I just bawled as I told the Lord thank you.

We had the best weekend last week.  We left Thurs. morning at about 8:30 for Lake Tahoe.  It was a very long, boring, ugly drive; but my parents took Madison, Lincoln, and Reagan in with them and that helped immensely.  Mitch and I listened to the fourth book of the Promised Land series by David Woolley.  That helped pass the time and I was able to sleep on and off.  We got to Tahoe about 5:00 and then checked into the hotel.  I wish I could say the hotel was everything we dreamed of, it wasn’t, but it was nice.  It was just very small quarters and very crowded.  Everywhere we stopped in Nevada there was another reminder of gambling, drinking, and girls.  It kind of got old after a while.  I don’t think we ever got used to it; we just kind of got to the point where we ignored it.  I was floored to see so many people drinking right by the pool with their kids.  It is so strange to see something that is so harmful so much a part of the family life.  Jon and Kori got there right after us so we all sat at the pool and visited while the kids swam. I really enjoyed that.  I think we all slept pretty great in our small little room that night.  I hate hotels and can never sleep in a different bed.  I did okay except it sounded like someone going to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  Apparently our room had a leak and it would just start for some un-known reason.  So I just put towels under it.  They were great to bring more towels for me to lay under the leak—although they never fixed it.  Then Sat. we went to a great breakfast at IHOP with Jon and Kori.  Then we headed to the beach with the entire family.  It was fun to sit at the beach and visit.  The adults were up having their family meeting so we really didn’t get a chance to visit with all of them.  After our day there we went back to our room and Mitch bought us groceries for us to make our own dinner and breakfast.  Each meal was costing almost $50 to eat out, so shopping helped a little.  The next day (Sat.) we packed up and checked out of the hotel, we then headed back to the beach.  My favorite thing of the entire trip was going parasailing with Taylor, Lincoln, Mitchell, and Reagan.  It was a complete blast and such a great celebration of Mitchell’s 18^th birthday.  I so appreciated my mom and dad just sticking with us and spending the day out in the sun while we played around.  After we parasailed we swam out as far as we could—-so dang freezing cold.  We found some rocks out in the water and we would climb up them and jump off.  It truly was such a fun, fun trip.  We left about 4:00 and then headed into Carson City to have Mitchell’s birthday dinner at Applebee’s!  It was such a great day.  I felt bad he didn’t have presents but truly it was the best 18^th birthday.  I am sure he will never forget it.  We then left and drove to Ely.  That was the biggest whole in the wall.  We slept in the biggest dump and then in the morning went to church there.  I do love going to church other places and seeing these people and wondering why on earth they would choose to live there.  We then left and headed the rest of the way home.  It truly was such a great weekend and such a fun family trip.  My parents were so generous to pay for the hotel the entire weekend.  For $700 truly that was a great family summer vacation.  We don’t go that often so I really loved being all together and we all had such a great time.